


Just You And Me

by vangogh_hoe



Category: The Outsiders (1983), The Outsiders - All Media Types, The Outsiders - S. E. Hinton
Genre: Angst, Cuddling & Snuggling, Dallyboy - Freeform, First Kiss, Fluff, Fluff and Angst, Insomnia, M/M, Motel, Night Terrors, Nightmares, Road Trips, Sharing a Bed, Sleepy Feels, Suicidal Thoughts, kind of, slightly OOC
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-05-07
Updated: 2020-06-12
Packaged: 2021-03-02 19:08:53
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 2
Words: 3,964
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24051865
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/vangogh_hoe/pseuds/vangogh_hoe
Summary: After Johnny's death, Ponyboy's nightmares are back and worse than ever so Dallas takes him on a road tripAka: I ran out of Dallyboy content, so I made my own.
Relationships: Ponyboy Curtis/Dallas Winston
Comments: 5
Kudos: 113





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> Yes, Johnny is dead, and Yes Dallas is alive, and No I did not edit this before publishing it because fuck that.

It had been a little over two weeks since Johnny had died. 

The note he had left me was now worn out and crinkled from how many times I had read it before finally giving it to Dallas to read.

After everything that had happened, Dally and I had actually grown quite close. Maybe it was because we were the only other people who were there, at the church, at the fire, at the hospital, at Johnny’s deathbed. And he was also the only other person who understood just how much Johnny's death hurt. Sure the whole gang felt it, but it was different for us. And Especially for Dally.

And so, we went from just being in the same outfit to actually being pals. 

But as nice as it was to have someone around who really understood, it didn’t do much help at night when the nightmares came around. Except, unlike the ones about my parents, I could actually remember these after I woke up, which made them even worse. 

The nightmares are always as vivid and real as if I were awake. 

Sometimes I would see Johnny in the park, knife in a bloodied hand, and a dead soc at his feet. And I wouldn’t be able to breathe because I’m still being drowned, even though I’m not in the fountain anymore and Johnny’s just looking at me like he knows he can’t do anything.

Sometimes I see him in the church, flames licking up his body and he’s screaming and begging me to help him, but now it's me who just stands there looking at him, watching his skin melt off in seared pieces, exposing the bone underneath, knowing I can’t help him. 

Sometimes I see him in the hospital bed, sores covering his body, as he tells be through bloodied teeth that it’s all my fault and it should be me in that bed instead of him beef he uses his dying breath to tell me he hates me. 

I’ll always wake up in a cold sweat, heart beating faster than Soda’s horse during a race, and all day I'll get flashes of those dreams. The images plague my mind and I can’t ever shake the terror and self-hate I feel because of them 

The worst one, though, is of Johnny just like he was before all of this ever happened. He’s smiling his shy smile, eyes still twitchy but full of life. He’s smoking a weed or watching a movie at the drive-in or watching the stars in the lot late at night. And he’s right there. And I can talk to him and touch him and even smell him and I forget about everything. 

When I wake up, I start looking for him— walking to his house, to the lot— wanting to see him because I feel deep down that I miss him. But I never get farther than my front porch before it all comes rushing back to me. He’s just gone. One day he was here and the next he isn’t. At all. 

At least once a night, I would wake up screaming because of one of these dreams, and Soda would have to hold me down until I became calm again and drifted back to sleep. Darry even started sleeping on the couch in case I broke down on my way to go see Johnny. He’d always be there to hug me and let me cry and eventually out me back to bed. 

I could tell that my nighttime routine was taking a toll on them. Darry, who broke his back all day every day couldn’t even sleep in his own bed anymore and Soda had switched from chocolate milk to coffee because of how much sleep he was losing. I had let Johnny down and now I was letting my brothers down too. 

Dallas, of course, knew about this. The whole gang did, actually, but Dallas was the only one outside my family to have witnessed it. 

Another thing about my nightmares is they don’t only happen at night. 

I was spending the day with Dallas and we had gone back to his room at Buck’s to play some cards and listen to the new Elvis record after the drive-in was a bust. 

At some point, Elvis’s smooth voice put me to sleep—which wasn’t anything too surprising, since the sleep I had been getting recently hasn’t been what one would call restful— and the next thing I knew Dally was shaking me awake with a concerned look distorting his usually coy demeanor. 

“Jesus, kid. You really had me goin’ there for a minute…”

“What?” I asked, voice raspy, as I tried to discern dreamland from reality. 

“I don’t know, you tell me. You fell asleep then started to tense up and then out of nowhere started screaming bloody murder. I almost had to sock you one just to wake you up.” 

“Oh. Yeah. I do that sometimes…”

“What do you mean, ‘sometimes’?” Dally’s icy glare cut into me. 

“Whenever I go to sleep…” I said beneath my breath, looking at the floor. “And sometimes when I’m awake, too…” 

“Christ,” Dally huffed and stood up. He paced the room, running his hand through his hair a few times and then down his face. “Okay… Okay. Come on,” he gestured for me as he walked out the door and down the stairs. 

“Where are we goin’?” I asked, trailing behind him. 

“I’m taking you to Two-Bit while I go run some errands.”

“But I thought we were hanging out today.”

“Yeah, well, we were. But now I have to go do some things.” 

Although I continued to follow him and didn’t raise any more objections, my heart sunk in my chest because I knew that I had become too much for him to want to be around. Dally liked easy. He liked simple. He liked things black and white. And I wasn’t that. So now he’s throwing me to the wind. 

The walk to Two-Bit’s house was painfully long and silent. As soon as he came to the door, Dally was down the street going god-knows-where, on whatever fake errands he said he needed to do. 

——————————————————————————————————————————  
Dallas walked clear across town into soc territory, trying to find the house Darry was supposed to be roofing that day. 

“We need to talk!” he yelled up at Darry. 

“Dallas? What’re you doing here?” 

“It’s about Pony…”

Darry immediately stopped what he was doing and came down the ladder. 

“What about Pony? Is he okay? Did something happen?” Darry panicked. 

“He’s not hurt or anything, so you can relax.”

“Okay, so what’s going on then.” 

“He was with me and dozed off for a second and he had this… episode.”

Darry sighed and looked at the ground, “Yeah, we know.”

“So what’re you doing about it?”  
“What can we do? We hold him down so he doesn’t accidentally hurt himself and we help him calm down until he can fall back asleep. He went through a lot, it's normal for him to be experiencing this type of behavior. All we can do is wait it out.” 

“No, what I saw was not ‘normal behavior’. He’s really messed up.” 

“What do you want me to do Dallas?” Darry said defensively. “It’s not like I was prepared for this— any of this. I don’t know how to be a father!” 

“You’re a better father than I’ve ever had,” he said, putting a hand on the larger man’s shoulder. “I’m just saying that maybe what he needs is to get away from all of this for a while. maybe he just needs some space is all. A break from Tulsa, a break from being a greaser.” 

“It—“ Darry said, turning the idea over in his head. “It’s just not feasible. I can’t just leave my job. We need this money, Dally. And the money from Soda’s job. Otherwise, we don’t have a house or food and if we don’t have that, then they’ll take them away from me and be put into a boys home.”

“I’ll do it, then.”

“Dallas—“

“I’m serious.” 

“I don’t know…” 

“Look, I get it, okay. But I also get what Pony’s going through and I really think what he needs is some air. Clear his head. I don’t have a nine-to-five and I have my rodeo money and I can borrow Buck’s car because he owes me big time.”

Darry was quiet for a bit, seriously considering Dallas’ offer. 

“Okay. But only if Ponyboy wants to. And wait until tomorrow morning, okay? I just want him home a little longer before he leaves.” 

Dallas nods in agreement. 

One of Darry’s co-workers yelled at him in the background, drawing their attention away. 

“I have to get back… I’ll see you tomorrow morning, then? I’ll wait until you’re there so we can talk to him about his together.” 

Dally nodded and walked away as Darry climbed back up the ladder. 

The rest of the day, Dally spent getting things together: packing a bag, digging gout his money, threatening Buck for the car, and even signing up last minute for that night’s rodeo because, while he might be a little sore in the morning, he’ll at least have ten extra dollars. 

——————————————————————————————————————————

I only woke up once last night, but I was still feeling very sleep-deprived. I tried waking myself up with a shower first thing and it did help a little, but what really did the trick was walking out of the bathroom to Darry, Soda, and Dallas waiting in the living room. 

My heart stopped when I saw Dallas because I thought he still hated me for being too much of a problem. I didn’t want to del with his icy-ness this early in the morning, yet I was still drawn to it. 

“Ponyboy,” Darry said once he noticed me standing in the doorway. “Sit. We need to have a talk. All of us.” 

The overwhelming sense of dread filled my lungs and all I could do was walk to the chair with weak knees and fall into it. 

“We’re worried about you, Pones…” Soda said after a moment of silence. 

“We think,” Darry started tentatively, “That it’d be best for you to take a little vacation. That maybe some fresh air will do you some good.” 

“The four of us?” I asked looking at the others in the room. 

“Well, not exactly. as much as Soda and I want to, we have to stay here so you have a house to come back to, understand?”  
“Maybe?” I was not awake enough for this conversation but I tried to follow along. 

“What would you say ti you and me hitting the road, kid?” Dallas asked. 

Me and Dally? On Vacation? Just the two of us? The thought sparked hope in me that maybe he wasn’t trying to get rid of me after all. 

But did that mean Soda and Darry were? 

I didn’t have much time to entertain that thought before Darry quickly added “You don’t have to if you don’t want to. We just wanted to give you the option.” 

Maybe it would be best to get out of their hair for a while. God knows they deserved a break from my craziness and some actually sleep. 

And maybe they’re right. Maybe I do just need a break. A break would be nice.

“Okay,” I said. “Let me just pack some things.” 

“Take your time,” Soda said. “We’ll make some breakfast in the meantime.” 

As we ate breakfast, Soda and Darry kept looking at me strangely, like they were expecting something from me or like this was the last time they were going to see me. I wondered absently if this is how we looked when we went to go see Johnny in the hospital. 

When we were ready to leave, each gave me a tight bear hug that lasted ridiculously long. 

“Take care of yourself, Ponyboy,” Darry said after he put my bags in Buck’s trunk for me and pulled me into one last hug before he let me get in the car. 

Dally started the engine and I waved a final goodbye to my brothers. We rode in silence for a while the radio filled the car. I rested my chin on my arm, head half out the window, while my other hand surfed the breeze. The sun warmed my skin and the air was fresh, but there was still a melancholy that hung over me and I couldn’t shake its presence. 

There have been a select few times that I have been able to escape from under the oppressive cloud, like when I saw Curly after he got out of the cooler on good behavior, and when I was at the DX one afternoon and Soda showed me how to replace spark plugs and coils, and when Two-Bit came over and we watched Mickey on the TV and ate too much chocolate cake, and pretty much every time I would hang out with Dallas. 

But right now, having him here wasn’t lifting the fog. I think Dallas could feel it too. 

“How’re you feeling, kid?” 

I shrugged my shoulders.

“How about we use our words, huh?”

“Why is everyone so careful around me? I know I’ve been having trouble sleeping but I’m only just a little tired, okay? It’s not like I’m dy— It's not like I’m sick or something.”

“Are you saying I’m babying you?”  
“Well, no. Not you. Just them,” I mumbled. 

“Then good for you, because they aren’t here right now, are they?”

“No,” I pouted, but inside I was relieved because Dallas was the same snarky, cold hood that he’s always been. 

Well, maybe that’s not completely true. He was different. A little softer around the edges now. It might be hard to notice from the outside, but I could tell. Or maybe the reason I saw it while others couldn’t was because he was only like that around me. 

In the end, I guess it doesn’t really matter which one it was because either way, I liked this Dally. Same yet Different. Like me. 

The purr of the engine filtered through the windows and the faint sound of music flowed throughout the car and I could actually put my mind to ease. It was at this moment that my restless nights weighed heavily on my body. I tried maneuvering around in the seat until I could find a somewhat comfortable position, but Dally must’ve gotten fed up with me rustling around. 

“Come’re,” he practically commanded. He guided me down until I was on my back with my head resting on his lap. Almost immediately, my eyes fluttered shut, and warm hues filled my mind. The mid-morning sun warmed my bones while the breeze cooled my skin and right before I drifted off, I felt a steady hand run through my hair. 

For the first time in weeks, I slept a dreamless sleep.


	2. Chapter 2

We stopped once at a roadside diner. Semi-trucks lined the parking lot and the only people inside were a few truckers and a small staff.

We sat in a booth towards the back where I barely touched my food. My appetite was non-existent and I had to manually force myself to swallow ever small bite I took but Dally kept giving me this look that told me we weren't leaving until my plate was clean. He didn't rush me though, and by the time I finished, two hours had passed.

I didn't talk much once we were back on the road, but Dally push. I was thankful for that. I swear if one more person asked me how I'm "holding up" or tries to initiate small talk, I'd scream, (but more realistically, I think I'd just start crying uncontrollably, but that doesn't sound as tuff).

The radio was playing softly in the background but I couldn't really hear it, nor did I really want to.

I had my head halfway out of the window, letting the breeze run through my hair and fill my ears with its white noise. I watched in a daze as my fingers and hands surfed the win and I forced on keeping my breathing steady— In...out. In...out. Over and over.

Ahead, the sun was falling towards the horizon, becoming redder and redder the closer it got.

My eyes drifted shut as I let my surroundings hypnotize me, sending me into a trance-like state where, eventually, I no longer heard the wind to felt its cool embrace on my skin. There was no longer brightness behind my eyelids, and the smell of old the old leather seats was gone. The only thing grounding me to the moving car were the vibrations rolling through my bones.

I had almost fallen asleep completely when I felt the vibrations fade to a stop. I slowly picked my head up and blinked open my eyes only to be blinded by a bright neon sign reading "Vacancy". I then saw Dallas coming back to the car (when did he leave?), walking in the way he always does: shoulders back; chin up; looking around, not out of nervousness, but like he's searching for a fight, daring anyone to make a move.

It used to scare me— everything about the man screaming "fuck with me and I'll put you in an early grave". But now, I like being around him. Like, in his presence, I'm safe. Protected, even.

The night air was hot and dripping with a humidity that filled your lungs and made it had to breathe. It was one of those nights where even the bugs couldn't sleep, instead filling the air with their deafening cries, reminding everyone how miserable it is outside.

When Dallas leaned down to the window, I could see a sheen of sweat coating his neck, illuminated by the red of the sign, and his white hair was slicked back.

"Grab your shit," he said. "We're stopping for the night."

I followed him to our room, only a few doors down from the front office. Luckily the room has a working AC unit. Dally claimed the bed by the window and let me shower first while he lit up a cigarette.

When Dallas came out of the bathroom after his shower, now sweat-free, I was laying on my side, eyes closed, but still awake. I heard him quietly turn off the TV and the lamp between our beds.

"Dally?" I asked into the dark of the room, my voice sounding embarrassingly small.

"Yeah, kid?" he responded after a pause, surprised I was still awake.

I let the silence hang heavily between us, too afraid to ask the question that had been sitting in the back of my head all night. It didn't seem to matter, though, because Dally already knew what I wanted to ask.

"I'm right here id you need me, Pony. Just try to get some sleep." He had a slight snark in his voice, but I knew it was more reflex than sincere.

I nodded even though he wouldn't have been able to see and settled into the bed.

* * *

I dreamt of Johnny again. 

He wasn't injured or sick this time and he didn't even talk to me, but the look in his eyes made my hands shake. 

He looked at me with hatred, like not only was I the reason he was dead, but I had betrayed him somehow. Like I didn't care that he was gone, or like I was happy he was finally out of the way. 

I pleaded with him, tried to make him believe that I was sorry, that it was all my fault and I just wanted him back. I pleaded, with tears streaming down my face that I wish it had been me. That I was the one who deserved to die, not him. But he just stood there. 

I woke up screaming, my heart pounding, my chest heaving, his name on my tongue.

Dallas was by my side in an instant, holding me down so I didn't accidentally hurt myself or break something. His voice was distant, but as I calmed down it became more clear.

"Just breathe, kid. Breathe." I felt him wipe some of the tears off my face with the pad of his thumb as he held onto my face. As I caught my breath, he sat on the bed with me and pulled me up into his arms. I cried until my head hurt with it, desperately clutching onto his t-shirt. He held my face to his chest and ran one hand through my hair and the other in circles on my back. Even though the panic, the fear, the heartbreak, the guilt, I thought how strange it was for Dallas Winston to be acting so kind, so...soft. But I was glad for it because it was exactly what I needed from him. It made me feel special. Because I knew he wasn't like this for just anyone. 

My heart rate slowed and my tears dried and I could feel the tired weight of my body against his. 

"How do you do it?" I whispered, voice scratchy in my throat. 

"Do what?"

"Keep going? After everything..."

His fingers kept their pace as he thought of what to say. 

"It's what he would've wanted. After... After he died, I wanted to go right after him. I wanted to do something reckless and get a bullet through my chest. But I didn't. Because I knew he wouldn't want that. I knew that my place was here, with the gang. Until I could learn to live for myself, I lived for you guys, because I knew the last thing any of you needed was another one of us gone. That's what Johnny did when he was still here. Every day was painful for him and every day he wanted to end it all. But he didn't. He didn't because he loved us too much, even... even if he couldn't love himself." Dallas said, speaking slowly. 

There was a pause as I took in what he had said. "...Did you love him?"

I felt him nod.

"Johnny," he began. "Johnny was the closest thing I had to family, more than the gang, more than my own father." 

"Do you... Do you love me?"

"Yes."

"Like a brother?" 

He shook his head and hugged me closer to him. 

I straightened up a little bit, still in his arms, so I could look him in the eyes. "Can you stay with me tonight?" 

Again, he nodded. 

"Can... Can you kiss me?" I asked in barely even a whisper, a blush creeping across my face and burning my ears. 

Even in the dark, I could see the sides of his lips pull into a small smile before he cupped my face in his hand and leaned in. His soft lips connected with mine in a deep kiss. My blood felt like molasses in my veins and time seemed to slow down. He wiped the rest of the tears off my face and leaned deeper into the kiss and the word 'protected' doesn't even begin to explain how he made me feel at that moment. 

He slowly pulled away and put a sturdy hand to my chest when I tried to move back in.

"Com' on," he chuckled and pushed me down to the sheets. 

He laid down next to me on his back and held an arm out, allowing me to bury myself into his side and nuzzle my nose into the crook of his neck. I could feel his strong arms around me and his cheek on my hair.

I fell asleep listening to his steady heartbeat and slept a dreamless sleep 

**Author's Note:**

> Drop a Kudos and leave some comments ;)


End file.
